- Will you marry me?
After, John dreams of Sherlock. Not Sherlock falling, or the sound of his voice through a phone speaker. Thoes he think of when he is awake, uncontrolablly. When he dreams, it is always about the good times, early morning in front of the TV, or one of the very late brunches at Speddys, post-case-just-actually-slept style.
Then sometimes he dream of things that didn’t happen, could have but never did. And he wonder if it is better this way, not knowing. Or if it could not have happened after all. John was never sure of it. There were times that he felt as if instead of actually feeling this thing John does, Sherlock was just mirroring what John did, a counductor of light, too.
You are amazing. Brilliant. Fantastic.
John would not let himself think about that, though. It was a weird thing to obcesses on, and Sherlock would find out and laugh at him.
But now, weaking up from one of those dreams, he would give anything to have Sherlock laughing at him. Or even just to have a look at the man: in the middle of a case, a strang tangible energy that John learned to recognize even from afar; or launging on the sofa, looking at the bookcase up side down. Another perspective, John! Do you know the hunman brain recognize a face 4 times slower if it is up side down? Or Sherlock in one of his disguise, even if John doesn’t even know it was him, just somehow familiar. John would give any thing for a chance like that. Except he has nothing to give; nobody to give to.
But he would not have the nightmares back instead. Although they do, once in a while. He is not that low.
Also, he think he is allowed to be happy, if just a bit. Just this one bit. In his own dreams.
Now you’re breaking my heart ;__;
When I thought it couldn’t hurt much more than it already did…
I don’t ship Johnlock in that “marriage” kind of way
my heart. is so. burnt. right now. shit.